Emotional Abuse! self esteem damage & the knock effect many years on?

Is there or has there been a person in your life who emotionally abused you? A partner a collegue, parent or even a client

Words have enormous power.

As the “principle carriers of meaning,” words can lift us up or crush us.

They may be no more than sounds uttered from our mouths, but the intention behind the sounds can pack more joy or pain than the most loving touch or the cruelest physical blow.

Some people use words as subtle weapons to hurt, shame, or manipulate others.

These people are verbal abusers and tend to attract people in their lives who are susceptible to their insidious and hurtful use of language.

Verbal abuse can be overtly threatening, frightening, and openly cruel. This kind of verbal abuse can involve yelling, cursing, name-calling, bullying, and suggestions of future physical violence.

However, many verbal abusers aren’t as direct or threatening. Instead, they twist language and words so the recipient isn’t really sure what’s hit them or even what is happening.

They use a subtle form of verbal abuse that infects people over time and slowly erodes their self-esteem, confidence, and trust.

Here are 6 common forms of verbal abuse you might recognize: anyone can be causing you emotional abuse a colleague parent sibling child or a client.

1-Judging and criticizing

The verbal abuser is constantly correcting you, telling you what you’re doing wrong or how it could be done better, or subtly suggesting you don’t quite measure up in some way.

2-Holding back

When you ask, “What’s wrong, why are you closing me out?” the abuser pretends he/she doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

3- Hurtful “Joking”

The abuser often makes these jokes in front of other people, getting in a laugh (as well as a dig) at your expense. If you complain, you’ll often hear, “Can’t you take a joke? Don’t be so sensitive — I was just kidding.”


No matter what you say or what ideas you express, the abuser contradicts or undermines you. You simply can’t be right or have a unique point of view. The abuser will argue with you and force the last word to protect his or her dominance over the conversation.

You feel your ideas, feelings, or thoughts are never respected or valued.

5- Discounting

No matter what you’ve accomplished or how well you’ve done something, the abuser can’t offer a compliment or positive word of praise. In fact, they diminish your achievements and act as though they are unimportant or much less important than anything the abuser has achieved in the past.


The abuser suggests that any verbal abuse is a result of your behavior. You are to blame for whatever negative, hurtful comments might be hurled your way. “If you weren’t so whiny, I might be able to listen to you.” “You need praise all the time. Someone’s got to take you down a rung.”

Recovering from this kind of verbal abuse begins with awareness and recognition that you are a victim of it in one way or another . In some ways it is more difficult to recognize verbal abuse than it is physical abuse, as you don’t have bruises to show for it.

You aren’t crazy or overly sensitive if you feel verbally abused. Don’t allow it to continue.

Still need some help in dealing with verbal and emotional abuse?

There are many places out there that can help but one I reccomend is the inner bonding process , if you are ready to learn and want to heal yourself for you check out here

My self my cousin and my partner have all benefited from the innerbonding process which has helped us at work and in our close relationships too

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